White hair does not make the Genius
by ratpigeon
Summary: As they wait for their turn to pound on the Shinigami in Karakura, Aizen and Gin discuss the relationship between hair colour and genius, a very touchy subject with the evil madman... the Aizen one... OOC and slightly crazy, SPOILERS, please R&R.Thankyou.


Summary: As they wait for their turn to pound on the Shinigami in Karakura, Aizen and Gin discuss the relationship between hair colour and genius, a very touchy subject with the evil madman... the Aizen one... OOC and slightly crazy, spoilers. Please R&R

White Hair Does not make the genius.

Disclaimer: Disclaiming, for bleach, and the occasional Naruto references. So yeah... Disclaimed.

Aizen watched the flames in front of his Garganta with a bored expression.

"I don't suppose anyone can be bothered to open another one somewhere else?" He asked his lieutenants, looking around at Gin and Kaname, while Wonderweiss gurgled in the corner.

"I'm quite enjoying the battle between Harribel and Hitusgaiya." Gin said, grinning.

'"He's at least as talented as you were," Kaname said. "His _reiatsu _is truly impressive."

"Yes, well, not everyone has to be a twelve-year-old with a flashy ice-dragon _zanpakuto_ to be talented." Aizen muttered, as he summoned a large chair – _kyoka suigetsu _was good enough to fool even him, useful when he wanted something that wasn't immediately at hand – and sat down on it waiting for his Espada to die. It was only a matter of time. After all, Yamamoto hadn't even joined the fray; he was still standing on the air and watching, after briefly helping out against Harribel's _fraccion_ – not that Rangiku had a chance against three Arrancar.

"It _is_ a pretty cool bankai though." Kaname said, shrugging.

"_Shi-i-ny..._" Wonderweiss said, pointing at the gleaming ice wings of Hitsugaiya's bankai. "Want..."

Aizen huffed, pulling a small book out of his coat and a pencil, and beginning to read, his eyes scanning boredly over the black and white pictures of toads and children in metal headbands.

"It's all in the hair." Gin was saying, running a hand through his own, nearly white hair, "Everyone with white or almost-white hair is a genius in battle. Well known fact. Look at Grimmjow as an example – if he wasn't so stupid, he'd easily take Nnoitra's place, at least, and he barely even counts. Four of the thirteen captains are – were – white-haired, including Yamamoto and Ukitake, and at least two lieutenants... I can't believe you never picked up on it, Kaname."

"I'm blind, Gin."

"Oh, right. Well... Your old captain has nearly white hair too and that Hirako guy, who used to be Aizen-sama's captain..."

"SHINJI HIRAKO IS AN IDIOT!" Yelled Aizen, dropping the book to the ground. It fell open on a page of a middle-aged man with a long white ponytail and a headband and red stripes – a bit like Ulqiorra's dark ones, but thicker – under his eyes. He was talking to a white-haired man in a mask, with one eye covered with a metal headband. Both had had their hair coloured in with pencil.

"Uh... Aizen-sama?" Gin asked, turning to his boss with wide eyes.

"WHITE HAIR DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BETTER FIGHTER! IT JUST MEANS THAT YOU LOOK OLD BY THE AGE OF TWELVE LIKE THAT STUPID HITSUGAIYA! HE IS _NOT _COOL! HE'S A _BRAT_!" Aizen stood up, fists clenched and eyes narrowed. "AND _I _MANAGED TO FOOL THE _ENTIRE _GOTEI THIRTEEN FOR _YEARS_! I AM _BETTER _THAN THEM!"

"You barely even rank on the popularity polls, mate." Gin said, but he stepped back slightly. "I beat you _every time_ and so did Ukitake and Hitsugaiya. I mean, seriously, we're just cooler."

"SHUT UP SHUT UP _SHUT UP_!" Aizen yelled, drawing his zanpakuto and stabbing Gin. "I'm going to use my Kyoka Suigetsu to peel every single inch of skin from your smarmy white-haired face!"

I came fifth twice – you never got above thirteen." Gin said, backing away. "And why did you colour in Kakashi and Jiraiya's hair?"

"_Shikai_." Suddenly the traitor-captain found himself unable to move as thick ropes tied him in place. The scene around him changed to a blood-red sky hung with a heavy gibbous moon, and time seemed to slow.

"Just because you've got light hair doesn't mean that your better." Aizen hissed, getting closer. "Itachi didn't have white hair, and _he _was a genius. No-one ever remembers the black haired geniuses. NO-ONE REAL HAS WHITE HAIR, UNLESS THEY'RE _OLD_!"

"C-calm down Aizen, everyone knows that you're tough..."

"I'M _NOT _JUST TOUGH! I AM A _GENIUS_! I HAVE AN UNBEATABLE _SHIKAI_! I AM SMART ENOUGH TO HAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD TREMBLE AT MY MIGHT! I RULE HUECO MUNDO! I AM A GOD!"

"Aizen-sama?"

"NOT ALL GENIUSES HAVE WHITE HAIR!"

"Well, no, there are lots with black hair, or blondies like Wonderweiss and Urahara... but maybe they count as off white... Uh, I mean-"

"I FIGURED OUT HOLLOWFICATION BEFORE URAHARA! GENIUSES CAN HAVE _BROWN _HAIR TOO!"

"He made the Hougyoku..."

Aizen screamed in frustration, hacking at Gin with his sword. Although – since he had plagiarised Itachi's _tsukiyomi_ – it did not actually kill the hapless minion, just make him wish he was dead.

"Um, Aizen-sama?" Kaname asked after a few minutes, snapping the slightly mad megalomaniac out of his obsessive hack-fest. "The fire's gone out, all of Wonderweiss' Gillians are dead, and so are all the Espada and Fraccion. "I'm going to fight Komamura now..."

"...Bye Kaname..." Gin gasped, backing away from Aizen, slumping down on the floor of the Garganta.

Aizen nodded farewell to the blind ex-captain.

"He should fight Yumichika. With their fondness of orange, and Kaname's psycho-sphere letting Feathers have a chance to use his Shikai... it would be interesting..."

"Uhh... Aizen-sama?"

"Shut u-up Ichimaru." Aizen said, not looking at his subordinate as he answered in a sing-song voice on the edge of hysteria.

"...If you wanted, we could dye your hair white when we get back to Hueco Mundo..."

Aizen turned back to Gin as Komamura summoned his Bankai.

"Dye my hair?"

"Yeah, make it white, so that everyone will know you're a genius..." Gin suggested hopefully.

"Hmmm... You go back and get the dye ready; I'll fight these worms and follow."

Aizen waved Gin back, watching as Kaname Tosen unleashed his hollowfied form and started cackling about his sight.

"A nice shade of... cream I think, Gin."

Gin nodded, chopping Hiyorin in half as he turned to go. "One down," He said with a grin.

* Fin *

Summary: As they wait for their turn to pound on the Shinigami in Karakura, Aizen and Gin discuss the relationship between hair colour and genius, a very touchy subject with the evil madman... the Aizen one... OOC and slightly crazy, spoilers. Please R&R


End file.
